I have to admit that I was so heartbroken after my first Cebu QR OD (after all the preparations…). The good thing about that day was that I had my friends around.. They were there to help me get through the whole thing, as I did the same for them. Although we weren’t able to get that much awaited call/text from Qr, we still made the most out of that day..

Ruth, Edz (Ruth’s friend), Kai, and my boyfriend Rubel ate lunch at Crown Regency. The time that was spent with them was distractingly good! It was all the more such a great experience when we all went through the Sky Adventure package together.. it really took our minds off of the OD that morning. Dinner with them, was all the more comforting too. Our stories, and our endless laughs made the tiring day super worth it.

My stay in Cebu was worth all the time and effort because of them, despite another rejection from QR… and I already miss hanging out and talking to them.. Edz and Kai are living in Cebu, and Ruth is now working for a cruise ship, living the dream now..

Now, I also wasn’t able to blog about the Manila QR OD’s that came a few months after my Cebu trip. And with that came more rejections as well. But I’ve come to realize that despite not having the invitation to experience another AD again, I still had my Manila friends around.

I will always be thankful for the company, the warm welcome, the friendship that has blossomed… our journey to be flight attendants will be fulfilled in time. God will show us his purpose when he feels that we’re ready for the opportunity. So let US not give up..

I’ve realized more that you are my rainbows.. the ones that show up through every downpour, every storm… thank you for giving me hope, and for shedding light on every aspect of this journey..

Thank you for the friendship cams, charlie,  joanne, ced, ruth, kai, bam, shey.. my 2010 with you guys was awesome! =)

These beautiful goodies just arrived! I could not get myself to work because I was super duper excited to open the package.. I ordered these from Suesh 2 days ago.. Love Love love the products.. and Ms. Sheryll is really one nice seller! Prompt replies and transactions..I’m definitely buying more from her soon =)

The Personal VV case only costs for P1200 (also comes with a bag string that you can easily attach on the sides), while the brush guards (Variety pack - varies in size) is only P250. The 5pc brush set with pouch (Had good reviews from Cosmo Mag) is actually priced at P900. I had no need to buy the other brush sets (those that had 10 or more brushes) so I just bought the set that I can make use of, at all times. The brush set included the following brushes: Powder, Blush, Eyeshadow, Brow, and Lip.

Now, I’m more than excited to use these gorgeous babies to the test when I apply my make-up for tomorrow morning’s OD.. Good luck to all the ladies and gents applying at Diamond tomorrow.. God bless! =)

P.s. Sorry.. didn’t blog about my Cebu QR OD experience anymore.. was too lost for words..

i remain,

mai

A rush of emotions suddenly went hay-wired.. I thought the feelings of failure were all gone now.. but no, it was still fresh in my mind.. still lingering, just waiting for a trigger to be pushed..

My third time to apply for QR was not a success, even though I went through greater lengths, just so I could chase my dream. Yes, I went all the way to Cebu to try my luck. And it has been 6 days now since the Open Day.

But I am still thankful to God for giving me an opportunity to visit Cebu.. I am still thankful that my friends (and fellow aspirants as well) were there with me, as we gave each other that much needed support.. I was really thankful that I had them around during the waiting game.. we were kept distracted by each others company.. and ended the night, happy still, despite not getting the call or text..

Truth be told, I cried a little when the plane left Cebu.. I cried a little because I knew that I didn’t get in again.. I wondered on why I got invited the first time, and then never again… but I never questioned God. I’m sure he had a greater purpose to reveal..

I just hope and pray that I also get my wings soon.. but for now, I’ll leave my destiny to God.. I know he will not abandon me.

i remain,

mai

Constructive Criticism

I had an outfit-screening of sorts with my Kuya this morning.. he wanted to see what I was going to wear in Cebu for the OD.. so I obliged by taking down three (already planned) outfits for July.. One really nice corporate dress that is to be paired with a black blazer (with a printed skirt), my collarless teal karimadon pleated blouse (worn with my black suit ensemble), and my teal satin wrap-around blouse t(also worn with my black blazer and skirt).. and out of all the three, the latter was the winner.. I actually heard my dose of Constructive Criticism from my kuya this morning.. at first I felt antsy, especially when I already had my eyes set on those 3 outfit’s.. but then again, I knew where this discussion was going, and it was all directed to my benefit..

Kuya suggested (while showing me pegs of Flight Attendants’ outfits that he looked up from the net) that I buy a blouse that was just on the solid side (the color that is), and better if it translated to what QR’s uniform color was… noted!

I left his room, not disheartened, but eager to follow his suggestions.. he did make a lot of sense.

And because of today’s experience.. let me share this very interesting link to you about Constructive Criticism.. let us always learn to hear out the good, the bad, and the ugly.. the right way. =)

http://franciskong.com/personal/constructive-criticism/

I’ve always wanted my wisdom teeth taken out, for the sole reason of not wanting it on me anymore (they are in fact, non-functioning).. aside from the fact that i frequently get cheek bites, I despise the thought of having to endure another ‘singaw’ from it.. And it was only last year that my dentist advised me about having the impacted ones removed.. but when she told me that it could probably cost me PHP5k-7k per tooth, I died right there and then.. BUT if my teeth were in good alignment, the price will be cheaper.. well, way cheaper than the former price.

Ok, so one of my molar’s started to bug me when I accidentally bit something hard.. leading to my tooth’s demise. And since biting was becoming unbearable for me, I phoned the dentist for an appointment.. and since she was fully booked for the week, I was scheduled for the following week.. and since I had more time to kill, I finally opted in getting a Panoramic Xray, to check if I had a good teeth alignment.

After going to the gym, I canvassed all the dental stores (whatever you call them) in SM The Block, and then checked out the ones in Annex.. from a price offering of PHP800, I found one that only offered PHP600.. so I proceeded to that one area in Annex. And so, after about 30 minutes, I went back to get my xray. The attending dentist there asked me a few questions and happily explained to me the result of my panoramic xray. And guess what? She congratulated me for having a well-aligned set of teeth! Yeah! But there was still a downside to what she said.. since my wisdom teeth are really far, and impacted, I may still have to undergo a minor surgery.. and in this, she said that I might still have to shell out about PHP3k-4k per tooth… ok..

And so, when I finally had my appointment with my dentist, she immediately checked my xray. She didn’t operate on me right away.. she just did a cleaning on my teeth first, and then had me scheduled again for that tooth extraction that I requested.. My dentist’s sister would be the one to take out, since it was her expertise.

JUDGEMENT DAY: Ok, so I finally had my wisdom tooth extracted yesterday, for the tooth on my right side.. I also wanted it taken out as there was something black forming on top of its crown already, I’m assuming it’s cavity (ewww…sorry for that!).. anyway, the whole procedure took about an hour or so.. and since I was numb all the way through (2 doses of anaesthesia were used on me), and while my face was being held by the assistant.. I’ve managed to make a few cries, especially when the dentist was starting to apply pressure on my lips, while taking out my tooth. She was actually using half of my mouth for leverage… I mean, the tooth extraction didn’t hurt at all, it was the pressure on my lips that made me squeal! Anyway..I didn’t feel the tooth come out but I was already feeling all groggy and numb by the whole procedure.. My right cheek and half of my tongue felt swollen, but it really wasn’t.. it was just a feeling. After my extraction, the dentist carefully advised me to eat on my left side, as not to get anything inside the deep wound (man was my tooth huge!).. she also said not to rinse my mouth..but it was okay to spit out the blood.

Okay.. so it was a first time experience.. but I’ve managed to eat some hot noodle soup when I came home.. I actually tried working on my articles but failed to finish any since I was feeling dead bit tired at the time. And after 2 hours, the anaesthesia wore off.. and so I said to myself.. GOOD LUCK NA LANG!

I think I slept ok yesterday.. but I think today felt worse. Right now, I feel the wound swollen and throbbing.. annoying as it, I can’t do anything about it. I don’t drink meds unless I’m really in pain.. so I’m trying to manage.

So basically, I’ve taken the liberty of having one bothersome tooth taken out, for one more important reason.. it being, one of the requirement’s when you pass as a Flight Attendant. It’s like hitting two birds with one stone. And if I do pass soon, I’ll know that I won’t have to cram on this area for the medicals.

Here’s to hoping big! No pain, No gain talaga.. well, I’m in it for the long run!

[Part II of the enhancement journey]

So, what have I been doing for the past 2 days?

Well, I just had my first ever consult in Calayan last Wednesday.. since I wasn’t accommodated last Tuesday, they scheduled me for the following day (for 12:30 PM).. ok so, Kuya, my sister and I were all there by 12, as not to be late with the appointment.. sad though since this lady doctor (whose last name was Calayan too, but not the lady owner) came in late at past 1.

And so when Kuya and I finally got to meet her.. I instantly threw in a ‘Good Afternoon..’ and all she said back to me was, ‘OK, Hi Mai.. how may I help you..?’ Ok, since I felt like she was in a hurry, I went straight to the point and had my scars checked.. and after about 10 seconds, she immediately blurted out this laser ‘PIXEL’ treatment (which was only available at their Makati branch)… and before any procedure information was discussed to me, she went around to discussing the ‘price package’ first (with promo & discount).. So here’s how she broke down the package ——> IF I were to avail it:

One session only: PHP15,300; Two: PHP22,500; Three: PHP 27,000; Four: PHP36,100; Five: PHP 44,100; Six: PHP 52,200….. I didn’t bother continuing on calculating the numbers, especially when she said that I probably needed more than SIX sessions!!?!??!

Aside from these high prices (also check their increments), she also suggested that I buy this RC Cream from them (which was to be applied before going to this 2-minute-laser-treatment with them, and to be applied twice a day) which they sold at PHP4,116 each…….She also wanted me to put on sunscreen/sunblock especially when I start doing the treatments.. these were called the DDC (PHP518) and/or the DDG (PHP377), which she also advised that I apply 15-30 minutes before sun exposure…. and LAST but not the least… their soap.. She asked me to change my ST. Ives Apricot Scrub Facial Soap, to theirs.. The MW (PHP294), SFW (PHP259), and the uber expensive cleanser (PHP6,880), which was to be applied/used for washing/cleaning twice a day!

In my mind, when I was seeing the price quote of their products and services, and of their current marketing techniques (as they wanted me to buy their products only).. all I could say was ‘Woooooooow…’; and all Kuya could say was, ‘In all the clinics that we’ve been to, this was, by far, the most over-promising.. I think they just wanted to make money out of you…’; and all I could feel was, ‘Probably..’

We left Calayan with a mind-set that made us say, ‘NEXT!’

And so as soon as Thursday came.. and as the Belo and Dermclinic receptionists were already texting me for my consult confirmation.. I left the house again for another enhancement journey…

Kuya, Me and Rubel started with Dermclinic.. we came in about 30 minutes late (but I informed them).. but the surgeon came a bit later pa! We were worried about getting to our next Belo appointment, and missing our chance in getting the first spot with the first-come-first-serve-basis set-up.. so we were set to leave at 12 NN, if the surgeon still didn’t show up.

He came around 11:45 am.. so we stayed.. and as I was called into this small clinic room, we sat and he immediately came around to checking my scar. And after about 10 times of light pinching on my scar, he then assessed a scar incision. He said that Scar Revision was possible on but he would have to cut through my 1-cm-hole scar again.. leaving at that a scar-line instead, but a little longer then 1 cm.

He said it was all up to me whether I wanted to get the procedure or not.. I was asking his professional advise on this but all he could say was, ‘it’s all up to you…’ AND BECAUSE OF THAT, I felt more uncomfy with proceeding to decide on whether to get it or not. I would have loved to hear a straight out, professional opinion.. and not in that sense.

Take note: He said that this procedure on my 1 cm scar will only last about an hour.. and that to make this surgery possible, he’d have to use a scalpel (which was something that my Kuya was really scared about — what if the doctor slices on me the wrong way?!?! — better pa raw if they were to use laser on me..); and yes, Scar Revision is there to improve the scar, but not to make it disappear forever.. I could use creams like Contractubex but it will only help improve the scar… and if the wound heals well, then good for me… and if it doesn’t, it’s possible that through an infection, a bigger scar might form (which is worse!).. he also mentioned (when I asked the healing period) that the stitches will be taken off after a week..and will be totally healed after less than 2 months..

I felt that 50/50 thing on him.. I felt uncertainty in our consultation with him, and I felt the money making business ringing loudly in my ear again.. well, not so much when I was back in Calayan..

To be honest.. I’m not bitter about the prices.. I was actually there to not only check the prices, but to also know if it’s worth getting the procedure/s or not. I can definitely get the money for these.. but I just didn’t want to risk myself being put into a place wherein professionals are hesitant about these proceedings.

So after that consult at Dermclinic, I paid PHP800 for the Surgeon’s fee, and then headed off to Belo for my 12:30 consult.. we got there at exactly 12 NN. And guess what, I was the first on the list (since someone cancelled already)!

Moving on.. we waited for about 45 minutes before getting called in for the consult.. Since we were seated on the 2nd floor, we were then asked to go back down for the appointment. This well-suited lady then escorted me and Kuya inside the O.R.

And so, we sat down with the Surgeon and got on to assessing the scar. Instantly, he said that it was hardly noticeable.. He only operated on scars that were and are a little bigger than mine. He was never hesitant in telling us his thoughts and advise.. he made sure to point it out that he could make money out of me, and I quote, “Heck, I can make money out of you if I wanted to.. I can actually make PHP15,000 out of you plus vat.. but I know that I wouldn’t like the feeling, if in the end, you wouldn’t like the result.. I for one, would really like my patients to be happy, I wouldn’t want them telling me after a few years that their scars look worse than before.. I actually want to be happy too… Scar Revision is possible, but I won’t do it on you.. there is a big chance that given that you get the wound infected.. it may worsen and get bigger. And wound maturity takes a few years to actually settle into a flat scar again. like what you have right now.. so consider the years to wait for it to finally flatten itself out, before deciding to get the surgery..”

And then she called his nurse and asked her to check on my face, to see for noticeable scars.. and then she tried touching my left check (which had a small pimple), and said that she could not see any.. but when she went closer, she noticed my Pox scar, and then my Pitted scar on the eyebrow…. and then the surgeon said, “well, there you go! Even my nurse could not see it upfront.. we had to look closer for us to see it pa.. Someone will be able to see it if they were to really look at you closely..If I were you, I would not touch it!”

This 5-minute sit-down with the Belo Surgeon, was by far, the most professional, and the most prank. Simply no BS to it and was really worth the wait! I breathed a sigh of relief afterwards. My kuya even thanked him for actually being honest about it (unlike the rest).

And so, after paying the Surgeon’s fee of PHP1,120 (with 12% vat).. we then headed off to do our afternoon errands.. at least, after Belo.. I have been convinced that I won’t be getting anymore severe treatments for my scars, I am now content.. and if the airline recruiters reject me for simply having these scars.. then it’s their loss.. these scars will always remind me of my childhood wanderings.. but these scars will never define my character..

I would love to be a Flight Attendant someday.. and I know, I will still get that chance.

I remain,

Mai

Well.. a bit pricey.. if you’re looking to impress more of those meticulous airline recruiters.. I know some of them show emphasis on you having scars on some areas of your face and body.. anyway..

Today has marked the start of my quest to not beautify moi, but to just help improve something specific on my face (only), it’s really not my concern na magpaganda.. and I did mention in one of my previous posts that I have small (bothersome) facial scars, as well as leg scars.. and I made it a point to book a day wherein I would search for the best options (meaning derm clinics) out there.

I started my day with an 11 am appointment at St. Luke’s. Since it was done on a referral basis, I got an appointment right away. This lady dermatologist was probably at her late 40’s na.. And since my friend was her patient, she was conversed with so easily. She was nice naman…

What she first did to me was: examine/assess my face (while I was lying down on the bed) using these magnifying glass apparatus, and never did fail to mention first the evident pimples on my forehead, and the blackheads on my nose.. “Ok…” and then proceeded to the real purpose of the visit.. my Pitted & Pox Scars.

After that one-on-one thing, she than gave me a run down of three possible procedures for having the ‘scar temporarily removed’… the first option was fillers of some sort.. she said that models usually use that treatment.. but it only lasts for about 6 months tops (so out of the question).. the 2nd option was to have the scars lightened (ok, so I was 50/50 on this).. and then the last one would be the SCAR REVISION procedure.. ok, so since this was not her expertise (and could not give me a quote), she asked me if I would be interested with a consult with a Plastic Surgeon.. she wanted to give me a few days to think about and asked me to call her back this Friday, should I proceed to make an appointment again next Tuesday.. and before I bade her goodbye, she handed me three ‘recitas’.. she asked me to change my facial soap of St. Ives to Neutrogena or Tender Care (since these worked well on normal skin).. and then she wrote down another prescription with the ointment that is to be applied on my scars to lighten, and another for the prescribed sunblock dosage..

And as I was looking to pay PHP1,200 for that one-time consult (which my friend asked me to prepare, since that was the usual consultation fee of the doctor).. then did it turn out to be just PHP650.. I was probably given a discount because my friend referred me to her.. but when I counted the initial fee.. it was PHP950 in total. SO I was thankful still for that discount..

And as soon as Kuya arrived at St. Luke’s, I instantly hopped on to the car, to make our way to Calayan (Timog) this time.. we arrived there probably 20 minutes after.. only to be told that to get a consult was to first schedule an appointment (a day before).. and as soon as they reminded me of the consultation fee of PHP500, I went ahead to giving them some personal info.. I was scheduled for a consult for the next day..

After leaving Calayan, we then headed to Belo, at their Tomas Morato branch.

Word class sa Belo, I must say! We parked our car and was immediately welcomed by these two guards carrying umbrellas.. and yes, they held an umbrella on each of our heads.. hehe! But on a serious note, that’s world class service. And as soon as we got into the clinic, the reps greeted us instantly.. and since I was a first-timer, I too was asked if it was okay for me to be billed PHP560 for a one-time consult.. and since we were there to canvass the prices and to cross-reference the procedures, we obliged to that fee.. After I got all the filling-up done (on this Belo form), we were escorted up to the 2nd floor (where we were asked if we wanted coffee or juice), and in a few minutes, we were lead to this small nice looking room.. and after 2 minutes, a doctor showed up.. and the usual Q & A happened..

Now the experience w/this Doctor was both pleasant and not… when she checked for my scars, she asked why I wanted them to be removed (I actually didn’t say why exactly), as these were not really that noticeable.. she also complimented me on having great skin… and then as she was progressing with the assessment, she gave us her final consult.. she suggested doing SCAR REVISION as well, with a Plastic Surgeon.. and as the same thing goes, I booked a second consult with them this Thursday (since it was the only available time for this Surgeon person)… and since I booked the appointment, they waived the PHP560, and instead asked us to pay PHP1000 instead on our next visit (for the Surgeons fee)…nonetheless, it would have still been PHP1120 if ever…may discount pa din.. oh well..

Anyway, at this point.. there was a part in our conversation with the Belo doctor that disheartened me a bit.. and which lead to my kuya suggesting that we put up a Travel Agency instead (should these things be impossibly done on me)..

But I didn’t want to give-up on my FA Dream just because of those few circumstances.. I still wanted to see my other options.. the doctor said that they could work on my Pitted Scar (1cm hole-like scar), but it would still leave a scar, only that it would look like a LINE afterwards. I mean, I could bear that.. The Pox Scars on the otherhand, they would have to leave at that since they could not do anything further with it (I have two small ones)… I almost forgot that she suggested this Laser procedure as well, and she called it Fraxel.. I actually lost my interest with her when she said there were less options for me… and so I moved on.. but I’m still going to that Thursday appointment, and check how much they’ll charge for a Scar Revision procedure..

Anyway, after BELO, we then headed off to Dermclinic, by Quezon Avenue. This was near our house, and was just beside Capitol Medical Hospital.. and as standard procedure would do it, the receptionist also asked if it was ok for me to pay their one-time consultation fee.. syempre I said yes.. and it was by far the cheapest from the bunch. They only charged me P350 (including a short consult for my kuya).. anyhow, this lady doctor then assessed me and saw how small my scars were.. she too suggested SCAR REVISION.. the good thing about Dermclinic was that they were able to give us a quote right away.. here’s how she broke it down for us:

—>For the Scar Revision, w/c was to be done on my Eyebrow’s 1CM Pitted Scar, would cost me about PHP15,000 (package already and for one scar only).. as soon as the Surgeon assesses the scar, I could also get operated on that same day (they said it would not take long..2 hours tops..)

—>As for my POX SCARS, she recommended DERMAL FILLERS.. w/c she said could last on my face for years (unlike the one that the St. Luke’s derma suggested).. that on the otherhand would probably cost us PHP20,000 (package and for all scars that needed filling already.. through sessions as well)..

And so far, so good… DERMCLINIC gave me back that HOPE I lost back in Belo.. and after having the consult with them, we promised to comeback for another consult, to meet the Surgeon this time (for Thursday as well).. we got an early schedule with them, as we were booked to go back to Belo in the afternoon.

I left Dermclinic with a smile, as we made our way to our last option, ELLEN’S Timog branch.. unfortunately, the receptionists there didn’t know what they were talking about.. This receptionist girl just took a quick look at my scars and then proceeded to suggesting that I take a Diamond Peel procedure with them.. and since it would be done for many sessions, the changes will not be seen right away..

OK.. my Kuya and I have been to 3 certified doctor’s throughout the day already.. and a so-called Peel was not the answer.. sure, they were suggesting that a few layers of my skin be taken off.. but in reality.. peeling won’t help much in filling or flattening my deep-scars, it might emphasize the scars more.. and it was only until I mentioned SCAR REVISION then did they (the receptionists of ELLEN, including this one girl who was so busy in putting on more make-up on her face) all take a good look at my scars again.. and actually said that IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE! Hehehe… my Kuya and I left the clinic, and had a pretty good laugh on what just happened. Those girls didn’t know what they were talking about…

And so, we ended the day by noting all the new appointments, and then proceeded to get some late lunch at Big Better Burgers, by Victoria Tower, Timog…and after a hearty meal, we dropped-by a few skater shops before heading back home.

All in all.. the day was made productive, considering that we had to squeeze all those visits within the car’s CODING time frame.. and hopefully, by the end of this week, makuha ko na ang sagot sa mga pinopoblema ko.. basta, I still want and will continue to strive to be a FLIGHT ATTENDANT, no matter how big the odds are!! :P

So never give-up, never back down! :)

I remain,

mai

A few of life’s words of wisdom….

Don’t date because you are desperate.

Don’t marry because you are miserable.

Don’t have kids because you think your genes are superior.

Don’t philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don’t associate with people you can’t trust.

Don’t cheat. Don’t lie. Don’t pretend.

Don’t dictate because you are smarter.

Don’t demand because you are stronger.

Don’t sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.

Don’t hurt your kids because loving them is harder.

Don’t sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.

Don’t stagnate. Don’t regress. Don’t live in the past.

Time can’t bring anything or anyone back.

Don’t put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.

Don’t throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill. Find a new friend. Start a new career.

Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for some of life’s more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.

To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.

To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. Don’t bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.

Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.

Don’t abandon your responsibilities but don’t overdose on duty.

Don’t live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.

Be true to yourself.

Don’t commit when you are not ready.

Don’t keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don’t postpone it.

Say those words. Don’t let the moment pass.

Do what you have to, even at society’s scorn.

Write poetry. Love deeply. Walk barefoot. Dance with wild abandon. Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don’t wait for someone to take care of you.

You light up your life.

You drive yourself to your destination.

No one completes you - except YOU (and the Lord!).

It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging.

Don’t be afraid.

Don’t lose your capacity to love.

Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.

Don’t lose faith in God.

Don’t grow old. Just grow YOU!

i remain,

mai

This entry should have been posted before my QR experience.. but I’d like to make the time to share it still..

I went to Baclaran last Thursday with my boyfriend.. and we joined an ongoing rosary prayer around 4 in the afternoon (Baclaran church also known as the National Shrine - Mother of Perpetual Help Redemptorist). It was my first time in that famous church and it truly gave me a good vibe.

At the front area of the church, aisles of benches were occupied by young children, who prayed and sang along with the other devotees and visitors. I on the otherhand, would kneel down, stand up, and pray along with them. It was a good experience, and I’ve missed my solitary moments with God. Aside from that, I’ve found inspiration from these lovely set of children.

Moving forward, I remember being told about this certain tradition with church visitations. I’ve always been reminded that certain wishes come true when you send out a prayer in a church that you’ve visited the first time. In my case, it was my first time in Baclaran. But in spite of this reminder, I prayed to God, hoping for strength and knowledge, even if I don’t get what I’ve prayed for.

As soon as the rosary ended, I took a moment to pray. I prayed deeply. I prayed that I’d be shortlisted for the QR OD, and that I would be progress all the way to the FI. I also prayed that I would be endorsed to get my Medical clearance and that I would be declared FIT TO WORK; and after that, be emailed with my e-ticket… I have prayed for all these but have also beared into mind that if these things don’t happen.. I should know that God has his reasons.

After my solitary moment with God, we went ahead to light some candles; I lighted 6 white ones: 3 for my bereaved loved ones, and 2 for my cousins, and 1 for me. I prayed that we be blessed continuously. We left the church with a very good feeling. And I felt it in my heart that whatever the outcome may be, I know that God and my family’s support will always be with me.

Up to now, I still feel that big chunk of hope, that someday.. I will accomplish all these in God’s time.. and that I should always trust him, no matter what.

I remain,

Mai

When things really hit you hard, you have trouble getting up. I didn’t expect that there would be a few tears shed after deciding to call it a night.

Yes.. I waited like the rest of us who anticipated the golden call.. I kept checking my phone.. had it turned on vibrate-mode and at its loudest tone.. even after 11 PM… but unfortunately, I didn’t get it this time. Sadly, I did not get to impress the R.O. from yesterday’s OD.

I woke up today, checking the time from my phone.. and it was 8:45 am on the screen.. and as I recalled the last time I was invited for a QR AD, I said to myself.. “*sigh*.. at this time, the shortlisted ones are getting ready to watch the orientation video..*sigh of envy*”…

I’m deeply sad.. disheartened.. but has not given any thought on giving-up..

For more than a month, I’ve given this event a good preparation.. I even gave-up sunbathing (with a look of envy at my siblings who were swimming like heck!) at the beach just so I could save myself from having a burnt color! LOL! But seriously.. now that I’ve mentioned it.. I know that I could not give anything more, except to have the right words to say.. unfortunately.. I lacked what the R.O. was looking to find. Whatever that is.

The questions that were asked to me were casual (the R.O. that had bangs and was seated beside the girl who was wearing glasses), except for one that really caught me off guard.. which lead me to realizing that I answered it wrong.

She asked me where I was from.. What I was working on right now (which she found interesting).. and why I wanted to leave.

I knew what the last question meant.. but after going back, I realized that I gave her the wrong answer.. I gave her an answer that matched a question of why I wanted to be a flight attendant. Stupid, yes.. I think I have to work on my nerves more so that I can be more attentive and fast to thinking in these types of Q & A’s…

Sad, yes.. but I just had to charge it to experience.. and if ever that news of another OD coming is true (in Cebu).. I’m definitely hopping on plane to get another chance again!

“Gudnyt my ate…kip tryin ok? Dreams need chasing…Love u lots!” -kuya

i remain,

mai

P. s. Thanks to CMW-Cams and My Open Notebook-Joanne, for both being a part of my 2nd QR experience.. It was nice to finally meet you two.. and of course, to Diane.. if you do get to read this, sama ka na ng Cebu! :)